Corene: (calling) MOOOOOOOOOMMMM! Where are you?
Me: In the basement!
Corene: (coming down the stairs) Isaac is... (pause) He got a stick.
Me: (getting up) And?
Corene: He put it in the peanut butter, and was licking it off.
Me: Where did he get the peanut butter? Who took it out?
Corene: You left it out on the table.
Me: (calling) Isaac!
Isaac: ... Whught?
(mouth full of peanut butter, hands full of peanut butter, face FULL of peanut butter, table full of peanut butter... why didn't I get a picture- FULL of peanut butter? Sorry to all the peanut moms out there... I know you are probably breaking out in a cold sweat right about now!)
Me: Where did you get the stick?
Isaac: Outside-in-ot-a-tick. (Outside and got a stick)
Without me knowing, my silent-while-destructive son went OUTSIDE, got a stick, brought it inside, and was using it as a utensil to devour a tub of peanut butter.
Excuse me, I need to go pluck a few gray hairs.