The New Ava Translation (NAT)

She started with the popular verse, John 3:16 -

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal lice."

Heaven's gluttonous feast

My kids eat constantly. They literally, no exaggeration, ask for food at least once an hour, all day long. Even the hour right after a huge meal. They. eat. so. much. They think about food all the time. Kinda like someone else I know... ahem.

Tonight, in a conversation with Grambie (my mom):

Corene: What kind of snake can kill you?

Grambie: Umm.. probably a rattlesnake. If they bite you. But rattlesnakes don't live in Minnesota.

Corene: So if a rattlesnake bites me, then I'd die?

Grambie: Umm.. It's possible, if we didn't get you to the doctor in time.

Corene: But that's OK, because I'd go to Heaven. And you'd be sad, you'd miss me.
But I'd be happy because I'd be in Heaven!
And then when you die, you'd be able to come see me! So, it's OK.

Grambie: Well yes, that's true.

Ava (chiming in): When we come, we'll bring food!

I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

I need a Psychology degree. Come to think of it, I need an Early Childhood Education degree, too. And it wouldn't hurt to have an MD. It would sure make parenting easier, wouldn't it?

But tonight, I was reminded how much I would really like to have my M.Div. Teaching young children the wonders and glories of the unsearchable God is truly a hoot! Tonight I gave a quick impromptu Mommy version of the story of David and Goliath. Afterwards, behold the conversation:

Corene: Why did David do that? 'Cause Goliath was mean?

Me: Well, yes. Goliath was insulting God.

Corene: So he killed him because he was mean to God?

Me: Ummmm... yes? God wanted him to.

Corene: So is that what we're supposed to do, too? When people are mean to God?

Me: Well..... ahhh.... no....



Yeah. Brilliant, Jenny. Could not come up with an appropriate explanation. If Daddy hadn't jumped in and saved the day by giving a simple, "Goliath was a soldier" (which fully satisfied her confusion), my daughter would probably be laying in bed right now planning her first murder.

Well, if you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I have a future drug dealer AND now a murderer on my hands.

Help.

Preschool Theology

There's no point to this post except to hopefully make you laugh.

True overheard conversations:

(A few years ago)
Corene: Ava, I am 3. And God is 6.
Me: Corene, God is older than 6, he's very very old.
Corene: How old?
Me: He's older than the world, he's infinitely old.
Corene: (With true understanding in her eyes) Ohhhhhh. Kinda like Great-Grandpa.

(Recently)
Corene: Ava, you know what the Bible says?
Ava: What?
Corene: "Children, obey your sisters in the Lord, for this is right."