My heart is ripped in two as I talk with my student about God's grace. It is obvious this child has not been shown grace from the people in her life. She knows not of it's power. It means nothing to her.
Her family "looks good" on the outside, she says. Her parents "hold hands at church" but at home, biting, angry words are what define them. "They hate each other". Empty eyes stare at me. What do I say?
Lord, give me words.
I can not fix this life. I can not undo years of mixed messages and confusion. This child does not see you when she says your Name. She does not hear your love when I say your Name.
Lord, open her ears.
One thing out of the mouth and another thing in action equals hypocrisy. Equals confusion.
Lord, touch her heart.
May I gently, diligently, sincerely - and with humility... live a life that mirrors what I teach my children about you.
May I not let any words come from my lips that have not already erupted from my heart.
May I pray for this sweet child. Lord, give me words. Open her ears. Touch her heart.
Lord, teach me, I pray.
3 comments:
Wow. What a tough, heartbreaking situation.
Growing up in a Christian school, I saw so many kids like this. It's made me acutely aware of how my day-to-day actions absolutely MUST match my words. I can't be perfect, but authenticity is not an option for a disciple of Jesus.
This is definitely a difficult situation. However, it is so awesome that YOU are her teacher and are in a place to show her the love of Christ. I think sometimes we can say too much in situations like these--or I know it can often be that way for me. Sometimes, all the hurting person needs is someone to listen and love without passing judgement. And then, you pray like crazy for the right opportunity to share just the right words with that person.
Hi...I have lurked here one other time before (I think that I found your site from Amanda's)...
My husband is a youth pastor (and I work with the middle school as well), so this post here really pulled at my heart strings...
There are sure a lot of hurting, confused, and searching teens out there, aren't there? Even ones from church-going, strong Christian families!!
Sends me to my knees as well...for them AND for my own growing kids!!!
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