Funny how God uses our parenting to refine us. I've known for as long as I've been a mom that Motherhood ain't for wimps. How many times have I had to reach deep down into the carpet bag of my soul and pull out that patience that I didn't know existed so that I can answer the 43rd "Mommy" of the hour with love? The Holy Spirit put that patience there, I know it. And how many times has my selfishness been put to the test, when, for the 8th time in one sleep cycle did I have to drag myself out of bed and plod down the hall to comfort an uncomfortable baby. Or how about when I don't even look for patience or seflessness, and I snap irritably at my child? My humility is refined when I must look 2 big, brown, hurt eyes straight on and say "I'm sorry".
I'm adding another area of refinement to my understanding. My daughter Corene is a little bundle of 5 years old. She has been a lover of Jesus for just about 1 month, and she has spiritual sensitivity that brought me to my knees tonight. She has a spark about the things of God that is so refreshing!
Tonight we read in Revelation about Jesus coming back "soon". I knew we were probably opening up 20 questions of eschatology, but we had time so I dove in. After fielding the "What about Max (our cat)?" questions, we started talking about people who don't know Jesus, how they won't be able to come with us to heaven. The Holy Spirit obviously was working in BOTH of our hearts as we prayed, talked, and cried.
Here is what amazed me as I talked with her: This is the "main thing" of life. The main feelings we were wading through was a longing for the people we love to know Jesus. My heart aches as I write this, thinking of the names we prayed for. My heart truly aches for the first time in a long time. Sure, I've prayed for these people. Their names are written on my prayer list in my organizer. But when have I ached for them? When have I truly believed that God could save them?
It took a child, with simple faith, to remind me what the "main thing" is.
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
Refine me, Lord. I am your clay.