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OK, for my 10th post (WOOHOO!), a silly laugh at Jenny post, originally posted in a MOPS newsletter:
I went to the grocery store one night a few summers ago after my kids went to bed. I had a newborn, so I was a bit... ummm... sleep deprived. It was one of those days where I really intended to go during the day, but I kept getting sidetracked, and never made it. I was, to say the least, very tired. I was in somewhat of a daze, but managed to get everything I needed, and headed home. Somewhere in the deepest part of my little head, I had a fleeting thought that the amount of groceries I had in my cart as I finished my shopping didn’t seem like as many as I had just unloaded into my car. I processed this all, subconsciously, as I drove the few miles back to my house. My thoughts went something like this:
I went to the grocery store one night a few summers ago after my kids went to bed. I had a newborn, so I was a bit... ummm... sleep deprived. It was one of those days where I really intended to go during the day, but I kept getting sidetracked, and never made it. I was, to say the least, very tired. I was in somewhat of a daze, but managed to get everything I needed, and headed home. Somewhere in the deepest part of my little head, I had a fleeting thought that the amount of groceries I had in my cart as I finished my shopping didn’t seem like as many as I had just unloaded into my car. I processed this all, subconsciously, as I drove the few miles back to my house. My thoughts went something like this:
I must have packed those groceries really well in the bags, I thought I had bought more….
How much did I spend on those groceries, anyway?
Hmmm…. I didn’t even look at the receipt when I signed it….
Actually, I don’t remember signing a receipt……
(long pause)
DID I sign a receipt?
(light bulb moment)
I didn’t pay for my groceries.
(sinking feeling)
I walked out of the grocery store without paying for my groceries.
(laughing now)
I STOLE MY GROCERIES!!!!
Well, as I was driving BACK to the grocery store, anxiously awaiting my surely eminent arrest, I was then processing “How did this happen?” I know you’re wondering. Let me explain. I started bagging my groceries right as the checker started scanning my order - just as I always do. Bagging, bagging…. I glanced up and noticed a break in the groceries (a significant one - like at least 2 feet), so I assumed that the break in the groceries was where my order stopped and the next person’s order began, when in reality, those were my groceries, there was just a break because the checker had paused for a little while and I had continued to bag… I did not at all consider that I had yet to pay, I just assumed I was done and I left. Nobody stopped me, nobody even came to look for me (I certainly didn’t hurry to the car.) I left half of my groceries on the belt.
When I returned to the store, there was no police car parked outside (I was seriously nervous about that). It all turned out OK, the manager got a good laugh out of me, saying “Yeah, we thought something was different… most people who steal their groceries steal ALL of their groceries!!!” Not such a clever thief, was I?
I need to be able to laugh at myself, I need to be able to hear that I am not the only one who does crazy goofy things. (Well, I may be the only one who’s ever walked out without paying for her groceries, but that’s OK!!!) I also need to be a real encouragement to other moms who need to hear my crazy goofy stories (I have plenty of them, I assure you!!!).
So... you got any?
Well, as I was driving BACK to the grocery store, anxiously awaiting my surely eminent arrest, I was then processing “How did this happen?” I know you’re wondering. Let me explain. I started bagging my groceries right as the checker started scanning my order - just as I always do. Bagging, bagging…. I glanced up and noticed a break in the groceries (a significant one - like at least 2 feet), so I assumed that the break in the groceries was where my order stopped and the next person’s order began, when in reality, those were my groceries, there was just a break because the checker had paused for a little while and I had continued to bag… I did not at all consider that I had yet to pay, I just assumed I was done and I left. Nobody stopped me, nobody even came to look for me (I certainly didn’t hurry to the car.) I left half of my groceries on the belt.
When I returned to the store, there was no police car parked outside (I was seriously nervous about that). It all turned out OK, the manager got a good laugh out of me, saying “Yeah, we thought something was different… most people who steal their groceries steal ALL of their groceries!!!” Not such a clever thief, was I?
I need to be able to laugh at myself, I need to be able to hear that I am not the only one who does crazy goofy things. (Well, I may be the only one who’s ever walked out without paying for her groceries, but that’s OK!!!) I also need to be a real encouragement to other moms who need to hear my crazy goofy stories (I have plenty of them, I assure you!!!).
So... you got any?
7 comments:
I'll make certain Marty reads this.
She'll love it, even though she has never done anything like this! :)
Congratulations on the 10th blog.
So, I have permission to be snotty? I'll try really hard. Sometimes it comes more like an inspiration.
Whose eye is that?
The eye belongs to Google.
HAHAHAHA!!
Ok, you beat me. After Maggie was born and I was in the sleepy stupor, I went to Kroger, I did pay mind you, left, got home, opened the minvan to unload...and it was empty.
I drove back and there were all my groceries, still sitting in the cart in the parking lot!!
PS - have you been to the Love Well blog? It's on my blogroll. My new fave. I think you would like it. Read her recent post on Messes. She lives near you too, I think.
Oh, I remember the phone call that night on your way back to the store - and you were laughing so hard you could hardly get the story out! :)good times, good times!
Now, THAT is hilarious! I would've loved to see your expression when you noticed you STOLE YOUR GROCERIES! :)
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