Thank you, oh counselors.

For this post consists of the outpouring of my heart regarding The Great Pork Disaster of 2008.

It is time for me to put my lamenting to rest. Because the pork is at peace, therefore I must be at peace.

You see, it all began when Tiffany emailed that a friend had a pork farm and was doing their yearly sale of the "half-hog", and was I interested? The pork was a range of cuts, from roasts to bacon to pork patties to chops and more. We're not huge pork people, but here's the kicker. It would cost a mere $1.50 a pound. A deal too good for this deal-grabber to pass up.

So, the day came when we loaded up our freezer with a lot of pork(89 pounds to be exact) and began to feast on the hog. It is a beautiful feeling to have your freezer full of meat.

We're finishing part of our basement into a family room, so a lot of our junque is shoved into every nook and cranny of our laundry room. Our chest freezer also inhabits the laundry room. So, in order to have the freezer in a place that would open up the most space for our junque, an extension cord was used. An orange extension cord that was previously only used for a utility light, not an important fixture. An orange extension cord whose current important purpose was all too easy to forget.

This is turning out to be one of those stories with predictable endings, which is so good for my budding reader, I'm told by her school... I am supposed to check out stories from the library to read to her that have predictable endings. It is good for her cognition and her reasoning. So here you go. The adult version.

So.

This orange extention cord was inadvertantly unplugged by Mocha Man, in order to plug in the dehumidifier. Mocha Man did not realize that said orange extention cord was the life and blood of my freezer.

Fast forward.

Around, oh, say about... 7 days.

For somewheres around 7 days, nobody opened the freezer, or if they did, it was still cold enough in there to feel somewhat like a freezer. After 7 days of not being plugged in, I am here to testify, that your pork will no longer be frozen. In fact, not only will it no longer be frozen, it will no longer be cold.

Well, it was a little cool. ish.

But, honestly, I didn't feel like it was even as cold as a refrigerator, so in all good conscience, I couldn't even cook a bunch of it and then refreeze it. We had to... gulp.

throw.

it all.

away.

80 pounds of pork.

We had eaten a handfull of chops, a couple pounds of bacon, a roast, some sausage, a package of ribs, and some burgers.

Within the burgers lies a silver lining. We did have 8 pork burger patties in our upstairs freezer that did not suffer that untimely death.

We ate some a few weeks ago.

And. Tonight. We ate the last of the pork.

(cue in the bugle playing Taps)

The pork burger DID go out with a bang. Topped with swiss, guacamole, tomatoes, and bacon.

Mmmm...

And, you know, really? Now we get to eat chicken and beef and a little pork. And since meat is more expensive than vegetarian options, I'll be making more veggie, bean, and grain dishes. And that's much more healthy for my family anyway. Right? OK. I feel better.

Yes. I feel like I've spent an hour on a chaise lounge talking to a very expensive Psychologist. Thank you.

How much do I owe you?